The Outer Garments

The Outer Garments

In May 2003, I went on a trip to Israel. On the flight over, I put on my yarmulke and thought, “You know what? I’m going to keep this on the whole time I’m there.” And then, of course, I started to think about what I would do when I got back to the United States? Would I keep wearing it, would I take it off? What would I do?

Once I was in Israel, I started davening three times a day with one of the guy’s there, and then just before the trip ended, right before Shabbat came in, I asked my friend to help me get to the nearest Judaica store to buy some gifts. He called his Rabbi who actually came over and took me to the Judaica store, where I bought gifts for people, and also three pairs of tzitzit.

Back at the house, I showered, put on my yarmulke, my tzitzit, and on the way to shul, I started thinking, “What am I going to do with this yarmulke and this tzitzit when I get back to the States?” When I did get back, I put on a baseball hat with my yarmulke on under it, but after a few weeks passed, I finally took off the baseball hat and that was it.

My friends, family, everybody, all started asking about it, which is what I’d been concerned about. I wasn’t sure I was ready for their questions, for them challenging me. Finally, though, I just said, “You know what? I’m wearing this yarmulke and that’s it!”

It really affects people, and it can make them defensive. They started asking me, “What? Why? How come?”

In response, I told them the truth - that it makes me feel really good. Who can challenge that? You really can’t challenge, “I like it. It makes me feel good.” Once I was clear about it, and I got comfortable with their questions, it became much easier, more natural. It’s a process, and it affects everyone differently.